Not a normal post

***Attention***Complaining***Below***

"If you don't want to hear me complain don't read move on to another blog"

As I sit in my bed another day able to get up very little and when I do, I move from my room into the living room to sit into my recliner chair.  I have been struggling with not being able to get up and do more.  I have a hard time holding either one of the little kids which makes them want to climb on me even more.  It will be a week tomorrow evening  that I had the surgery.   Time is a good thing right now, because it indicates that healing is occurring.  Yeah!!

David's mom is leaving on Wednesday morning and this has began to cause me some concern.  She has been handling all the goings and comings of the house and she will be extremely missed.  We have been receiving meals since Thursday from friends in the church, this has been a great blessing. Interesting enough though except for those bring meal I have not seen or heard from many people.  There are a few people that I'm close with who have not even called.  I realize that people are busy but you wonder how busy one can be that they can not pick up a phone.  Yes today is my day.  Today is the day when finally I don't want to be the one who looks at things and acts like they don't matter, because they do.  Will I ever say anything...No but that does not mean that it does not matter.

It makes me wonder about relationships.  How deep are the relationships that I have?  Are we "friends" or "family" just because I see you several times a week, or because we attend church together, or because our kids are friends.  I am finding out that time does not equal closeness.  Just because we hug and smile at each other does not make us close. 

Whose fault is this? 

I'm sure a lot is mine.  I need to remember that friendship requires time.  Do I invest time into people or activities? Are activities more important than people?  I want to reevaluate my friendships.  Its definitely ok to just have a few friend but I need to make sure that those people who I want to invest time in me..I must make sure to invest time in them.  That's real friendship, that's what it's really all about..

So just for the record it is ok to have people in your life that you care about but are not close with.  I have lots of people that I love and care about but are not who I would consider close friends, someone I would say anything to...those people are far and  few.  I just want to know that in this life that there are people who will walk with me, people who do more than talk the talk but walk the walk. 

Friendship requires time and effort and I hope that I am the type of friend who is good at giving both to my friends. 

Ranting and complaining is done!!