Sunday, June 21, 2009

"My Guy"

As the day ends and the kids sleep I sit back and thank God for a great day with my family.
This is the first fathers day without my dad. I miss him which is not something I ever really thought I would say. He is I hope and pray in heaven with My Great God.
When I think about "My Guy" David I feel so blessed to have such a great husband and a great father for my children.
On many days David will work all day long and then come home to a family that needs his attention, things in the house that need to be fixed, dogs needing water, and a wife needing a sounding board about the day. He always has time for his family even when he is tired from working all day.
God gave me the best gift 5 plus years ago..."My Guy" David. I love him more than he will ever know.
My kids are so blessed to have him as their dad.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Nervous Break Down

Well, I have officially started having a nervous break down.

Lakeisha left for California today and will not come home until late July early August...I can not believe I agreed to that.

Jelissa is moving out July 1st to her very own place. I honestly believed she would be the kid I would have had to kick out of the house. She and I have been joined at the hip since her birth. It will seem like a piece of me is leaving. Oh wait a piece of me is leaving. I'm excited for her but will miss her lots. She is my oldest but still my baby girl. She has grown up and I have grown up with her. I was only 19 when I had them and had no clue what I was doing. With Jelissa and I being a lot alike we've butted heads a lot and I have read lots of books to help me along. I am excited to see what the next chapter of our lives will be. Watching our relationship turn from being the one telling her how and when to do things to watching her make her own decisions. I pray God will continue to give me patience as I learn to watch as sometime my baby girl falls and I can't just step in and fix it.

Kristie has decided to go to Ozark Christian College. She will be leaving the 2nd week in August. I will watch the happiest child I know leave my home and embark on the great adventure of college. Although I will be sad I feel the most at peace about this decision. I am watching her turn from a little girl into an incredible women. I have noticed that the decisions she is making are very thought out and she seeks the Lords instruction on them. I'm very proud of her but will miss her more than she will ever know.

My new normal is "Change". I have never been very good at change. I still am not. I am learning day by day. There are moments where I have to will myself to keep going and not sit and cry all day, and then there are days like today when I burst into tear at the very thought of my new normal. I keep telling myself that this change is good. It is what I have been preparing my kids for, for 18 years. I know that in order to grow I need to change...I can't stay still, I must keep moving, but today is a day that I will not go very far. Today is a day that I will cry most of the day. Today is the day that I look back and remember my girls as little girls and not women. Today I don't like the new normal, but tomorrow is a new day. Thank you Lord for new days. Thank you for always helping me though.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Resolutions....In June

OK. So, normally I am not big on setting New Year's resolutions but I have been convicted in so many ways in the past 6 month that I need to write down some goals that I am working on and need to work on. With 5 kids, one moving out, one going to college, one graduating next year, a 2 year old and a precious 10 month baby girl I am in desperate need to get organized!
So here I go I’m putting it out there for all to see. These are just a few of the many things I will be working on the next 6 months. Please feel free to ask me how I'm doing...I’m big on holding someone accountability.

~
Wake before my children, get up and get ready (This is a big one for me)
~ Eat healthy foods, not so much processed or things with added sugars
~ To schedule a time once a month to get out alone
~ Schedule a time to get out once a month alone with David
~ Plan dates with older girls to do something one on one regularly
~ Plan at least one activity to do with my children once a week
~ Go to the library with the kids once a month
~ Read a new book every month
~ Practice signing once a week (using my book or YouTube videos)
~ Take the kids outside three times a week
~ Update birthdays and purchase cards for the whole year and send them out on time
~ Read through the book of John twice before BSF begins
~ Exercise three times a week-(ex: walking, going to the Y, working in the yard)
~ Drink at least 3 glasses of water and work up to 8
~ Memorize scripture at LEAST a verse a month

Philippians 4:13
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

NeW KiNd OF NormAL

As I sit down to finally blog after several weeks, I ponder over how different my life is. David just left to go play basketball....Jelissa is house sitting at the Batchelders....Kristie is house sitting for Nikki....Lakeisha is hanging out with friends after spending all day yesterday at Eliches with friends(alone).... and I'm home with two little babies watching Cynthia discover the joy of learning to stand, and Darius playing with his, new to him, Rescue Hero Men.

I have often wondered about God's since of Humor and looking at my life some days I know for sure He has one.

I've loved watching my girls grow up and become women....I love being a mom to Darius and Cynthia....I love being the wife to my very best friend, David....I love working with the kids at church....And I love serving the Lord with all my heart....but there are days when I sit back and think about just how tired I am and whether I have anything left to give. Is this a normal feeling?
AND THEN GOD SAYS
READ WHAT I CAN DO----READ WHO I AM
PSALMS 23:1-6
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul
(I love that part)
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, you rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
(I can't even count the days I've needed that comfort)
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows
( I have so many blessings that my cup does indeed overflow)
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
(This is exactly where I want to be forever)
Now those are words that energize me. Knowing that I can do all that I need to do with God's strength helps me keep going....even when I have days when I want to just go back to bed and give up, God will comfort me and guide my path.

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