Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Where do I go from here?

Wow, you spend 18 years raising your children and then within a couple of weeks they can pack up all they have and leave for college. Something happens inside a mom when this happens. I have tried to channel the great amount of saddness that I feel to God daily. I wonder sometimes if I'm the only one who has had this much trouble letting go of her children. I'm the mom who cried almost everyday when she had to send her baby girls to kindergarten. Maybe there is something wrong with me :)

So here I am one month down and my baby girl would like for her mom to tell her "just come home". My outgoing, happy go lucky baby girl misses her mommy. So what did I tell her when she called telling me "if I had gas money and my car was working I would come home right now?" I said NO, you have to stay at least one year.

What? Am I crazy!

No I'm not crazy, I'm just finding out that being a mom is a tough job that does not stop. I love my kids more than I could ever explain. Actually I can tell you how much I love them...I'm willing to let go and let God. Sounds cheesy right? It's not. I love Kristie so much that I'm willing to say no you can't come home even if you beg, because God has a bigger plan for you.

Wow, that is the toughest thing I've had to do.

What now?

What's next?

I don't know, but I do know that my God will be right beside me, because without him I have no idea what I would do.

1 comment:

  1. So sorry to hear of the heartache for you both. While I haven't been in your shoes yet, I can VIVIDLY remember being in Kristie's shoes when I moved to Colorado.

    I remember calling home crying and begging to move back. By Christmas I was able to say that while I didn't like Colorado, I knew this was where God wanted me. And with time, I realized I actually liked where God had me!

    Praying that God will give you all that you and she needs.