Although Ms Zoe has been with us for a few I have not formally introduced her to my blog. Today I would like to introduce you to the newest member of the Livingston family. We took guardianship of Ms Zoe about 2 1/2 weeks ago and are planning to adopt her officially after she has been in our home 6 months.
We were caught off guard by the circumstances that lead up to us being her new mom and dad but we are feeling very blessed to have her in our home. She is a very smart, bright, happy, 3 year old. She just had a birthday on August 1st. She is very big for her age but she is definitely all 3.
We are waiting for tons of appointments to arrive that will either confirm or deny a previous diagnoses of autism. We have seen a ton of improvement in behavior and attachment since she has moved in with us so we are just waiting for the doctors to tell us. If you asked David and I we would say that she is not autistic and has attachment issues and was craving structure and discipline. We will update as we get more information.
Zoe has attached herself to her brother and sister like they were together since birth. She loves them and wants to play with them every waking moment of the day. She cries when they leave to go to school or any activity where she is not going.
I have been able to have the opportunity to be with Zoe 24 hours a day since she has come into our home. After receiving a ton of information from a friend about older children adoption we are trying to follow most of the rules. David or I are the only ones doing any of her needs. We do not even let Grandma change pull-ups or feed her. We are trying to stay in as much as possible but this is very hard with our lifestyle. I have had the opportunity to be with her almost all her waking moments. She is bonding very good with me. She is taken a bit to 100% warm up to David but everyday is better than the one before. We feel we are in the honeymoon stage right now so we are waiting for after shocks to hit. We know it has to be hard to understand why the only people you have known all your life are no longer around. I grieve for the grief she must feel or will feel. That has to be so hard. I pray we can give her what she needs as she processes this all out.
God has been so faithful. With a 2 year hard transition for me with baby C I begin to dread the next few years. God has totally made this bonding situation almost instant. I am so very grateful for that. I don't know if it is Zoe, or if it is my heart, or if it is the possible autism diagnosis but I just feel different. My heart has just been entangled by her. I love her like she has been in our home since the beginning. Yes I worry about the autism. I question everyday what if? I want the best life for her and I don't know very much about kids with any disabilities but after much prayer I'm not scared I'm excited. Excited about a child with autism, yes. I know that God created her and that He has a plan for this little girl and I'm excited that He is allowing David and I to be a part of it. We are excited that she completes our family. We are excited to see what God shows us and teaches us through Zoe. She is an amazing little girl who is already making a mark on our family.
I pray that we will always be looking for God direction in our kids lives. I pray that God will bond all 6 of my kids together even though the girls are in college. I pray that they will feel connected even though there is distance because we are one family, one unit, and this family is not complete with out all 8 members. I miss the girls so much right now. I have called them with tears in my eyes a lot since they left. I'm not sure why this semester is so much harder than the others but I'm struggling. Maybe it is because out family has been together for all major events and them being gone when we got Zoe has been hard for me. They are all making plans to come home so that they can spend time with Zoe and the family. I'm awaiting those visits with great expectation.
So as for the Livingston's we are on another adventure. We are following after God with all our hearts and listening to him not man when it comes to the direction of our family. We are trying to not listen to any negativity, which is hard, but we are following what we hear God telling us knowing that blessings are in store for our obedience.