Tuesday, September 9, 2014


Esther 10

What could be more important than a persons reputation.  Well, a few things but it definitely ranks up there fairly high.  
I have always been concerned about how people see me.  My reputation has been something that I strive to make sure is positive.  

I remember thinking after I became a Christian that I wanted my kids to remember me when I pass as a bible thumbing momma.  It is important to me for my kids to see me reading and living out the scriptures.  

I have always wanted to be seen as a person that loves her husband and respects and submits to him.  

I want those looking at my life to know that yes I have made billions of mistakes but that my heart is not vindictive and that I desire to love more than I hate.  

I also want those watching this bleep of a life to know how much My Savior means to me and how He changed my life from ashes to beauty.  

As I finish reading the book of Esther I realized that the one thing that was keep intact was Mordecai's reputation.  He had a good reputation among the Jews and the King.  

It was also a good reminder while reading Esther that even when the world looks like it is in the hands of evil people, God is still in control and he protects His people.  Although we may not understand everything that is happening in our life we can trust that God is in control.  We also need to maintain our integrity by doing what we know is right, even when it would be easier not to.    

No matter how hopeless the condition, or how much we want to give up and throw in the towel we need to remember that God is in control of our world.    

This is sometime easier said than done.  Our family is dealing with some hard things right now.  I have ask God many time Why? and questioned His decision to have our family carry this certain cross.  I keep hearing Him say "Monica I am God and you are not".  Although I know this I sometimes act like I am in control.  I try to act like I know better.  
There could not be anything farther from the truth.  
While I'm asking God to help me and show me what I can not see for myself, I am also continuing to pray that the cross be taken.  With that said, I end my prayers with but if you choose not to I will still serve you.  I want to leave a reputation of a person that followed God to the ends of the earth carrying what ever my lot.  

In the end I want to live a life that magnifies that He is God and I am not!

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