Friday, March 26, 2010

What's next???

Vacation oh sweet vacation.   I have enjoyed my time away and I'm trying hard not to think about things I need to get done for Easter Sunday.  I can hardly believe that Easter is in a week. 
Am I ready to celebrate? 
I want to be ready to celebrate but I feel sad inside.  Why?  Not really sure.  Change I guess.  I sit back and wonder why sometimes among so many people I love and care about that one could be still sad.  I have been fighting all day the feeling of sadness:
  • Sadness because my best friends live over 15 hours away and that makes trips to starbucks difficult :)
  • Sadness because 3 of my girls are going to be in college next year
  • Sadness because although all our older kids are going to be moved out we still have 16 plus years to go before we will really be empty nesters.
  • Sadness because although I strive to be a good mother I fail  terribly everyday
  • Sadness because although I strive to be a good wife to David I fail terribly at that too
  • Sadness because although I strive to please my Lord and Savior I fail at that as well
So there is my inner most feelings for the day.  I read a blog today which encouraged women to not hide how they feel but to let it be known that we as women don't have it all together and we don't have to act like we do. 
So there it is world.  I'm telling you the truth not only do I not have it together...I can barely make it seem as if I do. 

So what's next??? I don't know.  What I do know is that I am sad today and I will pray that God will help me get through only and then I will ask for tomorrow.  My hope is that I will begin to feel better and that it will not be something I have to talk myself into feeling. 

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